


The Rainbow Connection

by madam_minnie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:32:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madam_minnie/pseuds/madam_minnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friends don't let friends get drunk at home alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rainbow Connection

  
[The Rainbow Connection](viewstory.php?sid=1704) by [madam_minnie](viewuser.php?uid=2)  


  
Summary: Friends don't let friends get drunk at home alone.  
Categories: The Broomshed > The Changing Room Characters:  Harry Potter, Ron Weasley  
Genres:  Erotica, PWP, Comedy, Ficlet  
Time Period:  None  
Warnings:  Slash, Strong Language  
Challenges: None  
Series: None  
Chapters:  1 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 1146 Read: 371  
Published: 02/05/2006 Updated: 02/05/2006 

The Rainbow Connection by madam_minnie

Author's Notes:

This is what happens when you drink and write. Sober discretion is advised.

He finds me sitting on the floor of the rented muggle flat in London. The bottles of Firewhiskey, butterbeer and Ogden's Doubleshot Firewater are on the floor around me. _Bastard just aimed and cast the Killing Curse without any remorse!_

The bitter amber liquid of Ogden's Firewater runs down my throat before igniting in a ball of fire that comes back up my esophagus and escapes through my now open mouth in a fiery burp.

"Good one," I hear him say as he steps out of the flames in the fireplace.

"That's still a bloody brilliant trick mate," I tell him, my head lobbing on my shoulders.

"Trick?" Ron asks pushing the _Daily Prophet_ newspapers off the sofa to sit beside me.

"The ability to travel by fire, mate!" I raise my Ogden's bottle to him and toast "...the bestest friend a famous, no-good, drunken hero of the wizarding fucking world could have."

He doesn't say anything, good man Weasley, just sits back and watches me get pissed like a good friend. _Actually a good friend would down a bottle with you._ So, I offer him a bottle and nearly crawl up his leg to push it into his hand.

"Oh come on mate," I say pressing my finger to his chest. "You owe me."

"How do I owe you exactly?" he says taking the black bottle from my hand.

"Best mates don't let their drunk mates drink drunk," I slur resting my head against his stomach.

"You mean best mates don't let their mates drink alone," he corrects me and pats my head before downing a large gulp of the fiery liquid. I listen to his stomach erupt then look up just in time to see the fiery burp.

"Now, THAT was brilliant!" I tell him summoning another bottle to my hand and clinking them together before downing a large gulp.

"What are his chances, you reckon?" I ask peering down into the bottle with one eye closed. _At least this time, I remembered to use my open eye!_

"Who's chances?" he asks and takes another long swig of Firewater. I watch mesmerized as he burps for what seems like hours, the flames changing color from Gryffindor Red to Hufflepuff yellow before ending in a some ring that closely resembled the Cannons' double C's.

"Snape," I spit. "Fucking wanker leveled his wand at him and just bloody cursed him with that goddamn gleam in his eye," I shout. "You know the one? The one he'd reserved specifi- specki- just for me," I stutter. "Bet he was thinking of me when he did it, the gutless wonder. **I'm not a coward** , my arse you fucking, bloody murdering, cross-dressing motherfucking bastard!"

"Cross-dressing?" Ron asks, his head nearly falling back against the sofa cushions when he snaps it up real fast.

"Don't you remember? Third year... the wardrobe?"

"The boggart you mean?" He takes another drink and closes his eyes, throws his head back and belches a magnificent plume of fire Fawkes would be proud of. "Wasn't really him, was it? I mean, it was that boggart in there, not really him."

"He probably has a wardrobe-ful of fishnets, mate!"

"Don't ever mention that again, Harry! I'll get pissed drunk with you, but if you're going to mention gross things like that, I'l risk splinching myself!"

"You're right," I nod standing and swaying slightly before falling beside him on the sofa. I look at the wireless beside me and suddenly The Rainbow Connection begins to play. "Sing with me mate... _the rainbow connection... the lovers... the dreamers... and meeeeeeee_ "

"What the hell is that from?" he asks reaching over me to flip the wireless to a Quidditch Match. I wrap my arms around him and hug him tight.

"You're the bestest mate a bloke could have," I tell him as I cup his face. He nods slowly and this time, I stare at his bobbing adam's apple with my mouth slightly open. "You're my Wheezy," I whisper and he nods again.

"Yes Harry," he breathes and it's the most amazing sound in the world. _That hitch... I have to make him do that again! But how do you make a bloke do that? And how do I stop this ringing in my ears from distracting me from his adam's apple again._

"Mate?" I ask looking into his eyes, surprised that there are only two as there seems to be two of everything else. _Bad idea to think of two of anything when this close to your best mate!_

"Yeah, Harry?"

"Did you know... know that... The Lion Sleeps Tonight?" I ask as the song starts to play on the wireless again without my even pointing my wand at it. _There I go again with the mental images from hell!_

I'm finally able to sit back on the sofa and I down the rest of the Firewhiskey before I even open my eyes hoping against hope that what I know my condition is south of the fire trail, is just a figment of my drunken and randy imagination. When _"I'm the Only Gay Eskimo"_ started playing, I stood quickly, swayed and fell face-down on the floor. Two parts of my anatomy immediately screamed in pain... both on opposite ends of the fiery pit in my stomach that I was starting to think had nothing to do with the Ogden's.

"I'll get the headache potion," he says groggily from the sofa, then groans as he rises to stand. "If the flat stops spinning that is."

"Second flask on the right in the kitchen," I call out from my now comfortable position on the floor. _At least it made the room stop spinning!_ "Don't confuse the flasks," I add when I hear him clinking around in my kitchen.

"Harry?" His voice is slightly cracked and concerned, I amble into the kitchen and find him standing naked holding a blue hip flask in his hand.

"Right... meant to tell you the blue one's a bit... dodgy."

"Dodgy?" he asks. "What the bloody hell do you have this in your kitchen for?"

In the living room, _Blue Moon_ started playing on the wireless and Ron's eyes widened.

"Stop staring!" he bellowed.

"It's rather impressive," I slur. "I mean... did it always curve to the right like that?

"Not always, just when I'm cold or excited," he blurts out looking down at his very thick and now pulsing erection. _Fuck, that's tasty!_

The last thing I remember before bending him over the countertop was _The Lion Sleeps Tonight_ playing loud enough to muffle the sounds of his continuous litany of 'fuck yes, bloody hell that's good' and 'oh shit that's deep'.

He woke with a difficulty sitting and my legs feel like I've run a marathon and Celetina Warbeck's voice singing...

"Someday we'll find it... the rainbow connection... the lovers... the dreamers and meeeeeee."

  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.thequidditchpitch.org/viewstory.php?sid=1704>  



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